Derek McHale Is Not An Exhibitionist
by Microwave-Is-An-Onomatopoeia
Summary: Derek and Scott argue, their mom is working late again, Laura is an unreliable traitor and Stiles has to play mediator. It's the BigBrother!Derek verse, last name is McHale because I'm so original (note the sarcasm), Laura is 18, Derek is 17, Scott and Stiles are 15, and Sterek could be a thing but if it's not to your liking it could be interpreted as a bromance. Also no werewolves


"Goddammit Scott what have I told you about this stupid bodywash!" Derek shouted, storming out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel with shampoo haphazardly rinsed from his hair holding a yellow bottle of something.

Scott and Stiles poked their heads out of Scotts room both with confusion written across their faces. Scotts face quickly went from confused to smug as a smirk slowly stretched his mouth. "What you mean the awesome bodywash Laura bought me? The one she fought that old lady for? Are you besmirking Laura's good name?"

Stiles, still confused, corrected Scott, "Besmirching dude, with a -ch sound. And what are you guys arguing about now?" Stiles was contemplating making popcorn because at this point in his relationship with the McHale family, these little spats were an entertaining, if not exasperating, weekly occurrence.

"That little shit," Derek yells, pointing a finger at Scott as he stomps closer to the two younger teens, "Keeps getting this stupid Spongebob bodywash with his creepy yellow face on it and every time I get in the shower I feel like he's watching me!" Derek practically hissed the end of his statement, eyes narrowed dangerously at his younger brother.

Stiles just stared, partially due to the fact that hello, hot naked guy dripping wet in a towel right in front of him (if he didn't acknowledge it at least in his head Danny would take away his gay card) and partially due to the ridiculousness of Derek's anger. "Derek, man it's not that big of a deal. You have posters of people, who actually exist I might add, all over your walls and I know you get naked in your room at least once a day. I mean I don't actually know know just ya know I know cuz like, everyone does it and not that I like watch you or whatever cuz eww gross dude, not that you're gross or anything cuz I mean have you seen you but I mean yeah I'm gonna stop talking now after reiterating that a fictional cartoon character seeing you au naturale shouldn't bother you this much." Stiles concluded slightly out of breath while both brothers gazed at him, still slightly awed at his ability to say so much seemingly without taking a breath in between words.

"It's not that there's an inanimate object staring at me, it's that the inanimate object is staring at me while I'm washing myself. That's personal." Derek grumbled at the end, arms crossed over his wide chest and something that could almost be described as a pout settling on his face. Really the only reason Stiles could even see the pout was his stupidly emotive eyebrows. Seriously who's eyebrows can convey that amount of emotion. Stiles should probably start thinking of them in capital letters. The Brows.

Scott just laughed in Dereks face, causing The Brows to go from only pouty to that special mix of angry, pouty and murderous and his arms to uncross as he clenched his fists at his sides. "If it bothers you so much just turn him around or put him next to the sink or something. I don't get why you're freaking out so much."

"I'm freaking out because nobody likes to be watched while they bathe! Get rid of it!" Derek's voice got louder and louder as he got angrier, his voice cracking slightly as he said 'bathe'.

Stiles just sighed again "Derek has a point Scott, unless sexy times are imminent nobody likes to be watched while they get squeaky clean. Well I'm sure somebody likes it but-"

"Exactly! Thank you Stiles!" Derek's triumphant eyebrows made an appearance as he interrupted Stiles, effectively cutting off the rant on voyeurism and exhibitionism Stiles was gearing up to make. He looked slightly affronted but got over it at the rare show of gratitude from Derek.

Scott frowned at his best friend, a look of hurt flickering across his face. "Dude you're MY best friend, you're supposed to be on MY side. I'm telling Laura!" Scott made his way to Lauras room, pounding on the door preparing to unleash his puppy eyes on his sister.

The loud music blaring from Lauras room suddenly cut off as she yanked open the door, eyes already narrowed. "Why are you banging on my door Scott? I already told you I'm not taking you and Stiles to get food, we have plenty of food in the house and I'm already low on gas." Lauras tone brokered no arguments and she went to close her door when Scott stopped it with his foot.

"No, no I get it that's not what this is about. Derek is yelling at me about the bodywash you got me the other day. He's besmirching your good name!" Scotts arms flailed as he basically threw Derek to the wolves.

Lauras narrowed eyes turned to Derek. "Is that right? What have you been saying little brother?"

Derek's face gave nothing away but The Brows (who Stiles really needed to just name at this point, they were practically their own entity) showed the beginnings of the fear only Laura and their mother could instil in Derek. "I've been SAYING that I don't like having that creepy little sponge staring at me while I'm in the shower. Don't tell me it doesn't bother you just as much as it bothers me, and we both know mom hates having that kind of crap in the shower too." Derek crossed his arms again as he tried to out-glare Laura.

It was of no use though, Laura was the one that taught Derek how to quail grown men with a single look from a young age. Laura just raised an eyebrow at Derek as she slowly walked over to Derek and plucked the bottle from his hands. She held it up to his face before deliberately walking to the bathroom, making a show of opening the door. "Spongebob is here to stay, no more arguing. Am I understood?" Scott nodded at Lauras words and she turned to scrutinize at Derek, daring him to contend with her.

"Fine! The stupid bodywash can stay since apparently Scotts opinion is more important than mine." Derek stalked away, shoulders tense as Scott and Laura high fived and Stiles sighed for what felt like the millionth time (he should get a punchcard, sigh a million times and get free curly fries) before giving Laura and Scott the Stilinski Stare, which was really just a hard look and a disappointed shake of the head, before rushing after Derek who had already slammed into his room, shutting and presumably locking his door.

He softly knocked on the door calling to Derek "Open up man, I'm not gonna let you get all broody and sour on me. Not after the Great Brooding of '06. And let's not even mention the Sour Wolf Incident of '09. Deeerrreeeeek. You might as well save us both the time and open the door cuz I ain't goin anywhere. I'm just gonna stand here until you finally give up and let me in." Stiles chattered away with his back against the door until Derek wrenched it open causing him to fall backwards into the now clothed older male with a surprised squawk.

Derek caught him on instinct as Stiles fell gracelessly into him. "What do you want Stiles?" Derek questioned tonelessly. Although judging by The Brows he wanted to smile, probably because of how awesome Stiles was.

"Dude, Scott and Laura were totally out of line. You know Laura was just doing it to push your buttons and Scott's just Scott. You know we all love you right?" Stiles' expression was uncharacteristically solemn as he stared up at Derek.

Derek focused on Stiles intently before nodding slowly, fondness coming across The Eyebrows. "I know. I just really don't like that bottle. I'm pretty sure it's evil. I coulda sworn I saw the eyes actually moving today." Derek glowered in the direction of the bathroom. Stiles just laughed before realizing he was still being held by Derek and only slightly awkwardly extracting himself from Derek.

"Well, since your siblings are being total douchenozzles I suggest we go out, eat until we have food babies, and go see The Hobbit. I bet if you're sneaky enough we can take Lauras Camaro without her knowing." Stiles finished with a wicked glint in his eyes.

Derek finally smiled a real smile at that before bolting into his room to grab the leather jacket his Uncle Peter had gotten him for his birthday last year. "Come on Stilinski, I can hear the curly fries already calling your name."


End file.
